So here it is!! I'm once again at a crossroads that I don't understand! From what I've worked towards I honestly thought I would be in the interpreting business for a longer while. Instead I've been laid off. And on a whim I decided to apply to an airline to become a flight attendant.
Low and behold God's plan in my life is far more complicated and simple at the same time.
From going through a tumultuous time in a relationship to arguing with some of my closest friends. Mom having cancer and not really talking about it and also being laid off in my job. All this of course over the top of the fact that I was dealing with depression and it was getting to the point where I was sick of life. And of course I only had a few friends I could talk to about it, but half of that group were the ones I were arguing with.
Needless to say I was not in a good place. In fact I was in a horrible place. I mean come on I was sick of living! I wanted it to all be over with!!
And yet... Yet somehow God worked his miracles. He pulled me through and got me to counseling. And I really do love my counselor. The safe place that he has created for me has been very important to me. The fact that he extracted a promise out of me was also another huge thing. This promise of course was not to do anything stupid, but how he did was one that really caught my attentions. Based on our relationship both in a professional sense as patient and client, but in other settings as well he knew me well. And the fact that I can also consider him a close friend that I go to with things like this really made it more intense. His extraction of the promise was with the guarantee that if I failed to keep the promise, he would leave the profession permanently. With the knowledge of what it took for him to get where he is now that was a significant impact that I had on his life.
I guess that was the first part of God's plan in the current changes for my life. There may have been warning that this was going to happen, but I definitely was not expecting it to happen so fast and immediately. The second phase was the vacation that I planned before any of this happened. An opportunity to visit one of my best friends. I was flying into the Atlanta Airport because it was cheaper then the Birmingham one. And since I was thinking about it, I thought I'd try and apply to become a flight attendant for one of the local airlines.
Amidst all this of course I find out that my mother is battling cancer and there wasn't a lot she was sharing about it. Of course this was also in part the fact that she is a very strong Chinese woman, and culturally speaking these things are not shared. You deal with emotions internally. I was just happy to receive the little information that she gave us. But this of course creates a tension in the dynamic of how we are to interact. Again I do my best to engage, but tire of the attempt when all I get is "I'm fine"
So I go and take my trip broken. I'm ready to escape and get away from it all. I want to hide from the world and for some of the time I could, but than about half the trip left reality hit! I received an email back from the airline and thus started the craziness.
Between three emails I'm confirmed for a flight back down a week after I arrive back from Atlanta. Complicating matters worse is the fact that as I arrive back my mother has her surgery to remove the cancer. and I have less then a week to see her start to heal before I fly out to Atlanta for that interview.
As I arrive back from Atlanta I have about a day to pack all I need for a week. I then run out to Enumclaw for CreationFest! And I spend an exhausting, but exhilarating week interpreting for some great bands. Again I'm not left alone, here I receive a call letting me know that I am being invited to training from which I can possibly become an actual flight attendant. Of course I take take that information with some excitement, but have to concentrate on the task at hand.
And thus sits me on the cusp of a new tide about to wash over my life. And there I am trying not drown in the wave of all this overwhelming me. I'm packing up my life and trying very hard not to be anxious as two of my closest friends have also upset me. That and then the drama of a relationship come back to me. I don't know what to do. I love these people, but it's hard to be dealing with all this and prepare to uproot myself. I'm mean I'm going to be moving across the country!!! My heart is torn and I'm in pain from the strain that it's causing me.
For now I guess I'm going to plug on and trust that God has a plan for this to be resolved. Of course it's not going to be easy, but what else am I supposed to do? I'm being called away and it's clear to me that I need to be doing this. Not one of the 35 other applications that I filled out responded to me. Actually that's not true one did to say that they already hired, but besides that I have not heard a thing. It's the only option I have right now, and even though I'm scared witless about this all, I'm thoroughly ecstatic about it. *sigh*
